My son is great.  I would like to optimize our relationship.  However, everything I search the web about father-son relationships, there is a good percentage of them which are religious.  Can't you fuckin' Christians leave anything alone?  Do you have to attribute the successes of everything else to your religion?  You can be Christian, I can be the religious equivalent of the Green Party of an Independent, but go fucking be Christian somewhere else!  Stop pushing your religion on everybody!  That issue about the pope offering a glimpse of the confession at the Vatican for crimes more heinous than genocide for example?  You know what they are?  For example desecration  of the holy sacrament, body of christ.  If you go for communion and spit out that crappy wafer on the way back because it tastes like poorly seasoned cardstock, then your average priest cannot absolve you.  You need the big guns, the pope.  This is worse the genocide.  Can you imagine?  If desecration of the body of christ if such a sin, you'd think they'd go through a little effort to make the symbolic offering palatable.  Kind of disjointed rambling, but there you go.

Just a quickie. I smoked some kick ass weed last weekend and realized something. My mind is extremely sensitive to stimuli. To the point where I almost can't handle it. While stoned, I reached a very important understanding. Alcohol kills the influx of stimuli, while smoking helps me make sense of it all. Which do you think I prefer?

I hope I didn't worry anyone by my last post (mom!). I assumed you read my blog and called, being the good mom that you are. It's not like I'm a raging alcoholic or anything like that. I've just been feeling down in the dumps a little. What's more concerning is that Japan seems to be getting even smaller and more crowded, if anyone can believe that. It's just a little hard having to come back here every time after visiting. It's becoming harder and harder to leave every time (for at least the last two times). However, getting a scooter sure helped things. Being able to say goodbye to the train was a blast, although I still need to ride it once in a while when it rains. So anyway, please don't anyone worry.

Its been a while since I've posted. More than one year to be exact. I believe the last tirade I went on was one of our reaction to N. Korea's nuclear test. I'm not quite sure where to start today. I've been drinking a lot. I went to San Francisco last year in December and saw somebody I used to really like. She had not changed a bit. Still the same cynical girl (99% of the time not towards me) I came to have feelings for. It's really complicated, at least for me. I'm not sure if she ever knew of my feelings of if she ever felt the same about me. After I came back to Japan, I never quite got over the reality that my life existed in another area of the world. I started to drink, quite a bit. Then on the eve of a 10 day vacation during New Year's I broke my ankle. I was drinking a bottle of shochu (Japanese stuff, like sake but stronger). I literally went through about 10 liters of the stuff in 10 days. Not heavy drinking in a short period of time, but basically drinking from 11am - 11pm. I haven't been able to pick myself up since.

Few years ago I was living in San Francisco. I decided one day to move to Japan. Without any idea or plan. I miss that city. I had no idea at the time what I was leaving behind. There's little I can do or say. I built everything up, from scratch, by myself, and then I ran away. I wish I had known then. But a little hope remains. Most of what I left is still there and may be still salvageable someday. I hope to return there. Until then.................

Check out this link http://jurist.law.pitt.edu/forumy/2006/11/donald-rumsfeld-war-crimes-case.php

Its a pretty good article about Donald Rumsfeld. The name that sparks hatred, in my heart for one. I have felt since September 11 that my home country was the wrong place to be. All kind of clandestine laws were put into effect, countries were invaded and people died without legitimate cause. The America in which I was born no longer exists. When people ask me where I am from I cannot say "The US" with the same pride I once could. I understand the hatred of the Iraqi people and most of the Middle East. The government has been taken over by selfish, arrogant fucks. I believe that Bush isn't as bad as people make him out to be, although no saint. He just played along to Dick and Donald. He was young, the son of an ex-president when brought into office and treated like a coached witness. Like this; "In tonights address, what are you gonna say now?" "Goooood." "And what countries make up the evil axis?" "You're going places boy." I believe its gone on like this quite often. There's a difference between taking advice from a Publicist and straight out following orders.

But on a positive note, America spoke. The beauty of democracy, although greatly delayed in my opinion, has reared its head. The American People had the chance to rid the country of the monsters which were controlling it and they did. This is a new day for me. Because I may once again be able to say with pride that I am from the United States of America.

Rumsfeld Resigns!

That bastard finally gave up. I was wondering when he was gonna throw in the towel. He has sent thousands of troops to a death sentence and doesn't have the balls to stick around to take the heat he duly deserves from a democratic senate and house. Chicken.......What a waste of human.

Act of Desperation

North Korea. Who would've thought that a cardinal direction slapped in front of a divided country could have such an effect on the listener. I guess it must have been the same for Germany. I remember hearing East Germany in school and imagining a Stalinist, steel-like place with dismal weather. That the sun never shone over there. And in the West, it was all green pastures and tulips and wooden shoes. Oh wait, those last two are indicative of the Dutch. Well the green pastures conveys my point well enough.

In mentioning South Korea, I feel a rather modern vibe. They are the most avid cell phone users in the world and have some of the best internet connectivity from what I've heard. Then there's North Korea. Are you getting vibes from each of these countries I'm stating? Cold, desolate and Kim Jong Il. Since he's about all we see of the North Koreans, he's about 90% of 90% of the public's view of the country, including mine. I saw a special on Cinemax once about North Korea (I'm always tempted to use the phrase "the regime" like the media has pumped into me). People were starving. They were on TV eating clay and tree bark and grass, because there was simply no food. When you're hungry, you're hungry.

Now they have apparently tested a nuclear device. I will remain skeptical until the US or South Korea has irrefutible evidence that the test was nuclear. But this is not what the media would have you believe. "Nuclear or not, still unconfirmed," if they even mentioned it, is merely a footnote in most articles I've read. The fact is that there is no confirmation, thus nobody except Kim Jong Il-ville knows for sure.

I gotta say, the US did a bang-up job on this one. Let's just freeze him out and hope he goes away. The man wants to be recognized as a country and is not going anywhere. Look at his father, who posthumously was made Eternal President of the country. He wants bilateral talks and we should give it to him. Sit down like human beings and work out a solution. Maybe a little dinner, port and conversation. The US criticized him after agreeing to normailze relations. Then after seeing what President Bush does to "regimes" (ok, I said it) like his (Iraq), he kicked out weapons inspectors. I would have kicked them out too. I would have kicked them out like yesterday's trash.

But don't get the wrong impression. I'm not agreeing with North Korea's weapons policy. But I will not agree with the "act of desperation" theory. Acts done out of desperation are usually done spur of the moment. Somehow, developing nuclear weapons for 10 years and detonating one as a test somehow doesn't seem all that desperate. I believe it was a well planned act of propogand, nuclear or otherwise. If Saddam Hussein had detonated a nuclear weapon (or faked one) and test fired missles, like some malfunctioning bottle rocket super-pak, I guarantee that we would be working out a diplomatic solution, and Saddam would still be living between his many palaces. The US did invade because of 1 reason, and that was because they knew Iraq could be easily toppled, the oil under control and an a US-friendly government installed. That's why the US uses democracy to push elections. The sons of King's usually aren't subject to much pressure. It's a lot easier to manipulate a democracy than a monarchy. I'm off point on my stance against North Korea. Point is, if they have tested a nuclear weapon, they ain't gonna give it up. Not by US pressure, China pressure or sanctions.

We don't need sanctions, that'll just effectively decrease his population. We need to figure out how to nuclearly coexist.

Thanks for reading^^^^^^over^^^^^^